To live a good life, you have to define what "good" means for you. Most people prefer to remain in the comfort zone of conventions and so-called best practices. Sooner or later, contradictions to one's convictions arise, and dissatisfaction takes hold. The Purpose Framework makes your assumptions about a good life explicit. It guides you to pro-actively pursuit the life you have reason to value.
Human beings are lazy beings. To be more precise, our brains are wired to avoid friction. Any new situation demands our brain's attention. Our brain evaluates the situation to identify potential dangers. Then, it compares the present to the past and tries to identify patterns it can match to the present challenge. This happens in a fraction of a second. Now, imagine how it would be if we would always encounter new situations. Toddlers have a strategy to deal with the plethora of information: sleep. But this is a luxury we do not have anymore.
As adults, we have amassed an unimaginably big data set of experiences. Our brain has identified patterns in past situations and applies them to present occasions. Hence, most tasks we do are more passive and unconscious than proactive and conscious. Studies on brain activity and consciousness show that most of the time, we function on autopilot.
Since we are social beings, we learn to rely not only on our own experiences but extrapolate from other people's experiences. We let the rules, customs, and narratives of society guide our actions. And this is good. The alternative would be to develop your own set of rules, traditions and narratives and, then, renegotiate your terms and conditions with people around you. But why would you reinvent the wheel? Instead, let us appreciate our efficient brains and all the remarkable societal achievements we enjoy today.
As you see, we are wired and conditioned to be lazy. We rely not only on our own but also on other people's experiences and inform our decisions and worldview according to our context. Problems arise when our societal context diffuses and—instead of giving us comfort, stability, and guidance—becomes the source of irritation.
During centuries, social contexts were more or less stable. Although change has always been the only constant, today the pace of change is different. An unprecedented acceleration has marked the last decades. Everything moves faster, and everything changes more quickly. We (our brains) are overwhelmed. We lack the predefined scripts for new situations almost daily.
The year 2020 as a whole has been a challenge to our way of life and even our world views. Implicit rules and conventions do not work anymore. We struggle to find satisfaction in life. What was good (our jobs, salaries, hobbies, and social nets) is no longer sufficient. While following other people's advice seemed to work in the past, no one is attempting to give advice anymore. We lack a pattern to follow.
The year 2020 will be remembered as the beginning of the challenge to the status quo. Hence, if what worked does not work anymore, you have to find and redefine what a good life under given circumstances and unknown future possibilities means to you. It feels like being a toddler again.
Past experiences are only reliable to the extent that presents situations relate to those in the past. To cope with uncertainty, we need to complement our lazy, unconscious nature with a conscious effort to be explicit in the pursuit of the future we want. It starts with your self: Who do you want to be in 10 years? There are two extremes: You could either continue the unintentional path of past references or make an effort to break free from convention. My suggestion: Find a balance.
To be precise, do not question everything you are and have learned so far. Instead, reframe it in a meaningful way, balancing both past experiences and your ambitions for the future. One of the merits of the Purpose Framework is that it bridges your past self with your aspirations. It implies that we all want to lead an effective and meaningful life. Effectiveness means that we achieve the life and goals we have reason to value. Meaningfulness is defined as the positive affirmation of a valuable life, not just by yourself but also by people around you.
In other words: Living a life with purpose means you achieve your goals and contribute in a positive way to the lives of others. Living a purpose-driven life is what living a good life in the broadest sense means. Answering the Six Key Questions will give you a narrower definition of what a good life means to you. It is a frame you set for yourself and gives you the ability to explore alternative answers to each question. As I suggested elsewhere on this blog, you can start with small steps. Try to live a day or a week with purpose. Make it a habit to plan and execute everything you do with intention. Then, after a while, you will discover a pattern that has led you and will continue guiding future decisions.